I've got three chats with your kids that I'd like to commission. If you send me a report of your conversation, you will win fabulous prizes. Did you hear that? FABULOUS PRIZES!!!!!!!!!
OK, here are the three conversations I'm willing to bribe you for:
1. "Do merds like mushrooms?" Explain to your children that merds are a type of animal. They're a make-believe animal, not a real one. They're blue and eat cheese for every meal.
Ask your kid: Merds laugh when they're happy. Animals that laugh don't like mushrooms. Do merds like mushrooms? Why?
2. "Do bangas sneeze at people?" Bangas are another type of make-believe animal. Tell your kids that they have fifteen feet and six noses.
Ask your kid: Every banga is purple. Purple animals always sneeze at people. Do bangas sneeze at people? Why?
3. "Are glasses made of rubber?" Tell your kids: Glasses bounce when they fall. Everything that bounces is made of rubber.
Ask your kid: Are glasses made of rubber? Why?
If you submit one of these conversations you will get to choose from one of three amazing prizes!
- Prize 1: I will write you a bad sonnet. You decide on whether it's Italian or Shakespearean or Wisconsinian or whatever.
- Prize 2: Mystery internet prize! I will send you a cheapo item from Amazon to your door. It'll be less than $10, but it will be awesome.
- Prize 3: I will paint a bad watercolor in your praise. I have no painting talent, repeat no painting talent, but I'll do my best to honor your magnanimity.
So run, don't walk, to your nearest child and let's have those conversations!
(Where is this coming from? From here.)